For the past two days, the world has watched Mark Zuckerberg’s evident discomfort as he tolerated a 10-hour marathon of questions from members in both houses of congress. The spectacle had it all — was light grilling, plenty of apologizing and vows to do better, and more than a few explanations of how Facebook actually works.
And the internet was loving it. Well, specifically, Twitter, cuz Facebook doesn’t exactly lend itself to this kind of live reaction (sorry Zuck). Here are some of the best reactions we spotted.
— Amee Vanderpool (@girlsreallyrule) April 10, 2018
Zuckerberg blinked awkwardly at the camera. And the internet tweeted.
Mark Zuckerberg looking like he ain’t slept since MySpace pic.twitter.com/7gT0kVvaUQ
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) April 10, 2018
Someone give that man a little blush. Seriously though, Remind you of anyone?
1998: Bill Gates testifies before Congress for the first time
1998 revenue: $14.5 billion
2018: Mark Zuckerberg testifies before Congress for the first time
2018 revenue*: $55.4 billion
(*analyst estimates) pic.twitter.com/m5l69ouZbm
— Jon Erlichman (@JonErlichman) April 10, 2018
What is that deer-in-the-headlights look on his face though?
when someone's talking to you about boring shit and you suddenly remember you forgot to feed your neopets from 10 years ago pic.twitter.com/RbFaKYjvsx
— Hard Drive (@HardDriveMag) April 10, 2018
when u drink 2 glasses of red wine while watching Amelie and decide to cut your own bangs pic.twitter.com/EPYHtZn3QI
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) April 10, 2018
Seriously, never cut your own hair. Especially the day before prom.
Despite the five-head, everyone was excited to see
the robot masquerading as Mark Zuckerberg him.
Mark Zuckerberg in 2016: "Personally I think the idea that fake news on Facebook … influenced the election in any way is a pretty crazy idea"
Mark Zuckerberg in 2018: pic.twitter.com/FoC2qXsAGT
— Hamza Shaban (@hshaban) April 10, 2018
It took a while for him to speak. Instead, his human suit analyzed a water bottle and tried to pour it into a glass and slurp it like a regular old CEO. As you can imagine, it was quite difficult.
"Thank you, Congressman. I have prepared an oral statement before we begin."
*Zuckerberg opens mouth. Jaw unhinges. Hornets swarm out of gaping hole.*
FEAST MY CHILDREN. FEAST.
— (((Andrew Paul))) (@AnAndyPaul) April 10, 2018
I mean, the man is very probably a robot.
— Mike Tokes (@MikeTokes) April 11, 2018
Okay, after all these digs though, he wasn’t looking BAD. Maybe a little taller than usual even.
Tech companies pretend they don’t understand the subtlety of the bias their platforms introduce, but OF COURSE they do.
Zuckerberg is 5’7”
His team has him sitting on a 4” cushion during testimony because they know it’s important for him not to look small or meek in the pics. pic.twitter.com/9on6W3eppi
— Kaivan Shroff (@KaivanShroff) April 10, 2018
He finally speaks! I feel like this should somehow be a drinking game. Take a shot every time Zuck says “content” or a lawmaker mispronounces Cambridge Analytica.
Or, maybe something that just doesn’t make any factual sense.
— Ruben Salvadori (@ruben_salvadori) April 10, 2018
But is Facebook too powerful, Mark? That’s the real question here.
“You don’t think you have a monopoly?” pic.twitter.com/cClSXSoauc
— Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) April 10, 2018
Does this feel like trying to explain the internet to your parents to anyone else?
“Mr. Zuckerberg, I have just one question about Facebook: Where do I find my Hotmail?" pic.twitter.com/51f5cxnJiq
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) April 10, 2018
“Mr. Zuckerberg, a magazine i recently opened came with a floppy disk offering me 30 free hours of something called America On-Line. Is that the same as Facebook?” pic.twitter.com/U7pqpUhEhQ
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) April 10, 2018
At the end of the day, at least someone was happy.
tfw you aren't being grilled by the Senate Judiciary Committee pic.twitter.com/0gbOmDtJq8
— Jeffrey Young (@JeffYoung) April 10, 2018
Day Two: Congress didn’t magically obtain knowledge of the internet.
"Senator, did you try turning it off and on again?" #Zuckerberg
— Shahak Shapira (@ShahakShapira) April 11, 2018
But hey! Biden is here!
Joe Biden to Mark Zuckerberg "your hair smells delicious, Mark" pic.twitter.com/x47GRtlnon
— Mike (@Fuctupmind) April 11, 2018
Still, all eyes were on Zuck.
— (Jamie)J.A.L.F.T (@jametteriley) April 11, 2018
The big news of the day? Zuckerberg’s own data was also sold to third parties.
But, don’t worry, that’s shouldn’t put too much of a wrench in his plans.
2024: After Facebook's algorithm had finally eliminated all dissenting political speech, President #Zuckerberg realised there was no longer any need to maintain a living tissue overlay on his cybernetic endoskeleton. pic.twitter.com/pcW3p3xlcP
— Furious Folly (@FuriousFolly) April 11, 2018