I Know Kung Fu

If the War Against the Machines Is Fought Via Martial Arts, Humans Are Gonna Catch an Epic Beat Down

Picking a fight in the dojo seems like a terrible idea.
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We're increasingly sure that humankind would catch an epic beatdown as humanoid robots show great advances in martial arts acumen.
Unitree via X

If machines ever fight a war against humans, it’ll probably be fought with modern weapons of war — bullets, bombs, and perhaps plasma weapons a la “The Terminator” — in a conflict, the robots will presumably dominate against us sacks of flesh and blood. Heck, the AI could even just bioengineer a virus to wipe us out.

And even if the battlefield were somehow constrained to kicks and fists, we’re increasingly sure that humankind would catch an epic beatdown as humanoid robots show ever-greater advances in dexterity and martial arts acumen.

A new video shared by Chinese industry titan Unitree, for instance, shows off a new six-foot-tall H2 humanoid robot that’s capable of pulling off some seriously impressive moves. The lanky bot can be seen performing an impressive air kick while coming eerily close to the head of a human engineer standing nearby, destroying watermelons hung up above its head height with a mighty foot, and even sending two heavy punching bags spinning after delivering yet another powerful blow.

Unitree’s $30,000, 180cm (nearly 6 ft tall) H2 humanoid robot. This version is likely powered by an Nvidia Jetson AGX Thor platform, built on Blackwell architecture. pic.twitter.com/E3tTHUjRGw

— Kyle Chan (@kyleichan) January 4, 2026

In other words, if the fate of humanity were to be decided in the dojo via mixed martial arts, we’re not even sure humankind’s entire stable of UFC fighters could save us.

While Unitree’s latest demonstration of its H2 robot, a follow-up to its hugely popular and much shorter G1, is certainly impressive, it raises an interesting question. Why is the firm — and seemingly the vast majority of its competitors — so focused on martial arts? Just last month, Chinese company EngineAI posted a video of its CEO being kicked in the stomach by its perhaps appropriately-named T800 humanoid robote.

Whatever happened to far more useful applications for humanoid robotics, like cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, or assisting the elderly?

Sure, H2 can spin on its own axis midair and turn a watermelon into pulp in one swift fusillade — but can it pick up a dirty sock off the ground?

Hell, if Unitree and its contemporaries are looking to impress us with their robots’ lethal prowess, why not attach some weapons to their extremities? Why go through the trouble of teaching them how to roundhouse kick?

Plenty of questions remain surrounding the viability of humanoid robots and their future role in society, despite billions of dollars being poured into their development. They may excel at pulling off pre-programmed martial arts moves, but the devil is in the details.

Manipulating objects and adjusting to the constantly changing conditions of the real world are proving far more challenging, further distancing us from a future in which humanoid robots are there to help us in our everyday lives, let alone become affordable enough for the average consumer.

And if they were to turn against us, they’d likely need to pick up a lot more skills than slick punches and kicks to wipe us off the planet for good.

Besides — as perfectly illustrated in a recent viral video that appears to show a man who’s remotely controlling a G1 humanoid robot to essentially kick himself in the nuts with the bot — chances are, humanity will have no problem defeating itself.

More on humanoid robots: Robots Tear Up Stage as Backup Dancers

I’m a senior editor at Futurism, where I edit and write about NASA and the private space sector, as well as topics ranging from SETI and artificial intelligence to tech and medical policy.