Terrifying UFC Fighter Screams at Elon Musk, Who Meekly Acquiesces
"ELON MUSK! WHERE’S MY WIFE’S CAR, BRO?"
In the hierarchy of people you really do not want to piss off in this world, somewhere near the top between “person in charge of CIA renditions,” “IRS auditor,” “mother-in-law,” and “class-action lawyer” is “bloodthirsty, freshly-minted UFC prizefighter champion.” Which is exactly who Elon Musk was just called out by, on national televison.
On Saturday night, three-timer world Brazilian jujitsu champion Beneil Dariush added a seventh consecutive win to his UFC record in his fight against veteran fighter Tony Ferguson by unanimous decision. For those of you who don’t speak UFC, that means that he lasted fifteen minutes in a caged ring as he and another shirtless sweaty guy pummeled the hell out of one another, and then the judges all decided that he definitely beat the other guy to a pulp more than he got beat to a pulp himself.
Then, in his post-fight interview — fresh off of doing grievous injury to another man’s body with his arms and legs — instead of taking the opportunity to promote his own standing in the UFC, he said this:
“I wanna call somebody out. Joe [Rogan], I wanna call out your buddy: ELON! ELON MUSK! WHERE’S MY WIFE’S CAR, BRO? I’ve been waiting six months! I’ve had a baby! I need a good car! I gotta protect my daughter! LET’S GO ELON! I NEED MY CAR!”
💥 BREAKING: UFC fighter Beneil Dariush won against veteran Tony Ferguson tonight.
— Tesla Hype (@TeslaHype) May 16, 2021
Rogan, for his part, immediately deferred to talking about the fight. Maybe because Rogan knows better than to get between a billionaire and a UFC fighter with freshly splattered someone else’s blood on their face. As for Elon? He responded in the way one should probably respond to a guy who speaks in ALL CAPS after winning a human deathmatch:
“Coming soon! Sorry for the delay!”
And now you know how to get a response from Tesla: Beat a man within an inch of his life on national TV, and then personally call out Elon Musk.
In the meantime, these people, who — it should be noted — are not bloodthirsty UFC fighters have… yet to hear from Elon:
— Yosh Eisbart (@YoshEisbart) April 24, 2021
@elonmusk Tesla’s customer service is appalling here in Norway! My friend ordered a brand new model 3 back in December and still hasn’t arrived. Was supposed to pick up the car today but turns out it isn’t even ready plus was previously owned twice in December! What’s going on??
— 𝓷𝓪𝓳𝓲𝓪𝓱🪐 (@NjFletcher_) February 5, 2021
Because my Tesla home charger hasn’t arrived yet. It’s behind. Once installed I won’t worry about it all that much. But, others might while traveling.
— Mike Scipioni (@ScipioniMike) April 5, 2021
Credit where it’s due: Musk knows nothing if not where his (mortal coil’s) bread is buttered.
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