SCARY MAN IS SCARY

Terrifying UFC Fighter Screams at Elon Musk, Who Meekly Acquiesces

"ELON MUSK! WHERE’S MY WIFE’S CAR, BRO?"

5. 17. 21 by Foster Kamer
UFC via YouTube
Image by UFC via YouTube

In the hierarchy of people you really do not want to piss off in this world, somewhere near the top between “person in charge of CIA renditions,” “IRS auditor,” “mother-in-law,” and “class-action lawyer” is “bloodthirsty, freshly-minted UFC prizefighter champion.” Which is exactly who Elon Musk was just called out by, on national televison.

On Saturday night, three-timer world Brazilian jujitsu champion Beneil Dariush added a seventh consecutive win to his UFC record in his fight against veteran fighter Tony Ferguson by unanimous decision. For those of you who don’t speak UFC, that means that he lasted fifteen minutes in a caged ring as he and another shirtless sweaty guy pummeled the hell out of one another, and then the judges all decided that he definitely beat the other guy to a pulp more than he got beat to a pulp himself.

Then, in his post-fight interview — fresh off of doing grievous injury to another man’s body with his arms and legs — instead of taking the opportunity to promote his own standing in the UFC, he said this:

“I wanna call somebody out. Joe [Rogan], I wanna call out your buddy: ELON! ELON MUSK! WHERE’S MY WIFE’S CAR, BRO? I’ve been waiting six months! I’ve had a baby! I need a good car! I gotta protect my daughter! LET’S GO ELON! I NEED MY CAR!”

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Rogan, for his part, immediately deferred to talking about the fight. Maybe because Rogan knows better than to get between a billionaire and a UFC fighter with freshly splattered someone else’s blood on their face. As for Elon? He responded in the way one should probably respond to a guy who speaks in ALL CAPS after winning a human deathmatch:

“Coming soon! Sorry for the delay!

And now you know how to get a response from Tesla: Beat a man within an inch of his life on national TV, and then personally call out Elon Musk.

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In the meantime, these people, who — it should be noted — are not bloodthirsty UFC fighters have… yet to hear from Elon:

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Credit where it’s due: Musk knows nothing if not where his (mortal coil’s) bread is buttered.

More on Elon Musk: Bitcoin Fans Are Absolutely Furious at Elon Musk


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