Twitter CEO Says Everything’s Totally Fine Actually, Thanks for Asking

Blink twice if you're in danger.

This is Fine

Just weeks after her disastrous Code Conference interview, which may have resulted in her public speaking activities being put on hold, X-formerly-Twitter's CEO Linda Yaccarino is logging back on to celebrate the one-year anniversary of her boss Elon Musk's Twitter takeover.

At an exceedingly rare all-hands meeting on Thursday, she let everyone know that she and the dumpster fire formerly known as Twitter are perfectly happy and doing great, thanks!

"October 27 marks the one-year anniversary of this platform under new ownership and management," Yaccarino penned in a lengthy company blog post following the meeting. "I am incredibly proud of the work our team has been doing to accelerate the future of X."

Yaccarino went on to detail not one, but 23 of X's supposed accomplishments since Musk's purchase of the platform. She bookended her expansive list with a bullish exclamation that if Twitter and its new leadership "can achieve all of this in just 12 months, just imagine the scope of our ambition for next year."

Sure! But as Business Insider reports, there's one very big problem with Yaccarino's optimism: the fact that many of the so-called accomplishments that Yaccarino touts, including regarding advertiser support and user numbers, simply aren't checking out.

Glass Half Full

In the blog post, Yaccarino claimed that "1,700 advertisers returned to X, from small businesses to major brands — including 90 of the top 100 ad spenders from a year ago." But, as Insider notes, data from the marketing firm Ebiquity recently revealed that scores of advertisers, including Twitter's former top spenders, have been pulling their ads off of the platform following all of the chaos unfolding under Musk's leadership.

Yaccarino also made some bold statements about Twitter's user metrics, including daily user activity and new user signups. Recent reports from The Wall Street Journal and Axios, however, have painted drastically different pictures, with data showing sharp declines in daily user activity and overall year-to-date app downloads.

Elsewhere, Yaccarino curiously decided to applaud the app's current infrastructure, which, between mass workforce cullings and a long series of underbaked product shipments, has all but collapsed under Musk's guidance.

She also notably failed to mention the news that banks that lent Musk the cash to buy the app in the first place have taken massive financial losses as a result.

In short, the walls appear to be coming down around them. But instead of doing some much-needed damage control, Yaccarino's entirely committed to her glass-half-full approach.

"One year in," she writes in the blog, "the future of X is bright."