The CIA has announced that a foreign nation is likely not to blame for most cases of "Havana syndrome"— a confusing move that came to the delight of countless internet pundits.
First, some backstory. In late 2016, reports emerged about a mysterious condition experienced by American (and some Canadian) diplomats and intelligence agents in Havana, Cuba.
Official explanations have often suggested that these officials were the victims of some sort of sonic attack from a foreign power, with Russia being the primary suspect.
In the intervening years, other State Department-affiliated Americans started experiencing similar symptoms in a number of other countries where the US government conducts operations, including China, Germany, and Colombia.
While many pundits have argued that Havana syndrome is psychosomatic, the Biden Administration and Congress have taken the reports very seriously — so much so that President Joe Biden signed a bill compensating Havana syndrome victims last fall.
But the findings from the CIA's interim study into Havana syndrome have now cast significant doubt on the government's prior stance on the strange disorder — and raises many more questions than answers.
Fortunately, it also led to some excellent memes for us to enjoy.
Here's the crème de la crème.
Galaxy Brain
finally we have the first actual piece of evidence that havana syndrome is real https://t.co/f92Rb2ZSlh
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) January 20, 2022
Havana syndrome was fake until the CIA said so, this line of reasoning goes — so therefore, it must actually be real, right?
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights
i got havana syndrome. havana fat ass https://t.co/dSZS2lPD2N
— your cool aunt (@kittynouveau) January 20, 2022
This one's pretty self-explanatory.
The Friends We Made Along the Way
What if the real Havana syndrome was the warmongering mass delusion we suffered along the way
— District Sentinel (@TheDCSentinel) January 20, 2022
With lots of people suggesting that Havana syndrome is little more than hysterical psychosis, some are arguing that the CIA's about-face makes the suspected root of the campaign — to conduct more wars — seem that much more obvious.
Havana Fat Doink
Everyone knows that the best cure for Havana Syndrome is smoking weed
— District Sentinel (@TheDCSentinel) January 20, 2022
"The District Sentinel," a left-leaning podcast, really hit a home run today with its tweet — perhaps a reference to a recent study that found weed may make it harder for you to get infected with COVID-19.
And What's the Deal
Havana Syndrome is the kind of thing George Costanza would make up to get out of work at the CIA
— chocken smirk (@beanytuesday) January 20, 2022
Kramer: Headache, nausea, feelings of distress? I think I've got that Havana thing, George. You passed it on to me.
Jerry (in his weird high pitched wavering affect): iT'S nOT reaL yOu IdiOT!~
— chocken smirk (@beanytuesday) January 20, 2022
Flawless extrapolation. Ten out of ten.
The Sober Truth
now that the CIA has admitted havana syndrome is fake it’s even wilder that congress passed that havana syndrome healthcare act. they passed in less than a week and yet they still can’t give us anything in regards to socialized healthcare or covid relief. genuinely unreal
— juniper 🧊 (@meowmeowmeuw) January 20, 2022
coolest part about that havana syndrome bill is even though its fake it will probably stay in place and CIA members will keep those benefits forever, its so cool
— juniper 🧊 (@meowmeowmeuw) January 20, 2022
While this one isn't funny per se, it is a stark reminder that the US government is more likely to act when a couple thousand employees complain of a mysterious set of symptoms than when hundreds of thousands of Americans die of COVID. Checkmate, America.
READ MORE: Most ‘Havana Syndrome’ Cases Unlikely Caused by Foreign Power, C.I.A. Says [The New York Times]
More on Havana syndrome: The Department of Homeland Security is Investigating Microwave Weapon Attacks
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