"Martha the ice caps are melting don't put them in your drink."

Ice Nine Kills

While on an Arctic cruise over the weekend, businesswoman and media mogul Martha Stewart found an, uh, creative new way to chill cocktails. Unfortunately, her unconventional bartending also reeks of climate dystopia.

"End of the first zodiac cruise from [Swan Hellenic Cruises] into a very beautiful fjord on the east coast of Greenland," Stewart wrote in a Monday Instagram post detailing her Arctic voyage, adding that she and her fellow crewmates aboard the ship "actually captured a small iceberg for our cocktails tonight."

Yes, as evidenced by the pictures of both the floating ice formation and the berg-chilled cocktail included in the post, Stewart et al procured a small iceberg for their mixology needs. Never mind, of course, the fact that as a result of global warming, Earth's glaciers and icebergs are disappearing at an alarming rate, causing sea level rise and habitat loss as they melt into the ocean. The polar bears, Martha! Think of the polar bears!!

Fan Fury

As might be expected, the comment section on Instagram was absolutely ruthless, calling Stewart out for the "tone-deaf" post.

"Martha the ice caps are melting don't put them in your drink," pled one netizen.

"Are you fucking kidding me Martha," added another.

"Babe," yet another Instagram user wrote, "we kinda need to keep that ice in the ocean."

Our favorite comment, however, might be this "Arrested Development" reference:

"How much could an iceberg be, Michael," one user commented, "ten dollars?"

Look, Don't Touch

It's a ridiculous situation, and though the chunk of iceberg itself wasn't huge, the optics are understandably terrible. In the wake of the controversy, Stewart shared a Washington Post interview with a University of California at Irvine earth scientist who said the environmental harm was minimal — although going on a cruise in the first place, it's worth pointing out, is associated with an astounding carbon footprint.

And speaking of the ship, Swan Hellenic, the company hosting Stewart and her companions claims on its website to stick to strict sustainability standards, and even devotes a whole section of its sustainability promises to the company's commitment "to preserving the beauty of the world we explore for future generations." Sounds nice, but we're not sure that taking Arctic ice for cocktail needs — no matter the ice chunk's size — quite fits into that mission statement.

In any case, to any and all humans who might encounter an iceberg anytime soon: please, please just leave it alone.

More on sea ice: Antarctica Is Losing a Flabbergasting Amount of Ice


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