At this point, there’s nothing left to say about Elon Musk that hasn’t been said a thousand times already. Yet his latest comment is so on the nose, we couldn’t resist.
“Whoever said ‘money can’t buy happiness’ really know what they were talking about,” the world’s richest man mourned on X-formerly-Twitter this week, likely from one of his mansions, or perhaps his private jet.
It’s a pathetic complaint from someone who could end homelessness in multiple cities, fund universal school lunch programs across the US, or bankroll malaria eradication with just a fraction of his wealth.
It also comes just days after another tranche of emails from notorious pedophile Jeffrey Epstein were released to the public. There, it was revealed that Musk had been in extensive contact with Epstein in the years following his 2008 conviction for soliciting prostitution from a minor. (Musk even went so far as to beg Epstein for an invite to his infamous island in December of 2013, contradicting his earlier assurance that he’d “refused” the offer.)
The revelation is evidently taking its toll on Musk, who began a desperate campaign to clear his name on social media. “If I actually wanted to spend my time partying with young women, it would be trivial for me to do so without the help of a creepy loser like Epstein,” the billionaire raved in one post.
Now that his ties to Epstein are undeniable, Musk evidently thinks he can pity-post his way out of it. So here’s a challenge, Elon: if money really doesn’t buy happiness, set yourself free. Liquidate your hundreds of billions and feed the hungry, house the homeless, and fund the schools.
He won’t, of course — but he could, and that’s what makes this performance so insulting. At least King Midas had the decency to regret his curse.
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