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Sharing the Load

Anti-Vax Group Creates “Unvaxxed Sperm” Crypto Because God Is Dead and We Have Killed Him

byTony Tran
12. 7. 21
Getty Images/Futurism

What on Earth?

Do the Sperm

Because we live in a nightmare of our own making, a group of ardent morons have created a new cryptocurrency based on the idea that vaccines lower your sperm count.  

The cryptocurrency, dubbed “Unvaxxed Sperm,” launched earlier this month, Vice reports. Its developers wrongly claim that most people don’t need the COVID vaccine, and are fierce advocates of quack treatments such as ivermectinThey also told the website that the project is to “ensure the continuity of objective scientific inquiry and the freedom of discourse.”

“We’re not anti-vaccine,” one of the developers, who only went by the name Jason, told Vice. But later he added, “To a degree, I’d say we are anti-vaccine.” Okay then. 

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Weak Swimmers

Though Unvaxxed Sperm initially saw significant growth when it launched, it seems to have blown its load early and crashed over the weekend. 

Still, the developers of the crypto hope that its absolutely stupid name will draw more people into the anti-vax community, according to Vice

They also have future sperm-themed projects lined up, including a cryogenically frozen sperm project and an anti-vaxx dating app, because we are a cursed species. 

Grim Outlook

It should go without saying that there is absolutely no evidence that the COVID vaccine lowers sperm count. In fact, there’s some evidence that suggests getting COVID could cause impotence. Still, that won’t stop morons from claiming otherwise.

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Overall, the crypto is a hideous marriage of so much that is awful about the modern world. After all, using the already tedious cryptocurrency trend to bilk money from other idiots and push dangerous misinformation about the COVID vaccine has to be some sort of grim high water mark for our dystopian hellscape. 

READ MORE: ‘Unvaxxed Sperm’ Is Trying to Become the Anti-Vax Bitcoin [Vice]

More on bad crypto: Hackers Just Stole Nearly $200 Million from a Crypto Exchange, in the Second heist in Two Weeks


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