Elon Musk Once Said He Mainly Tweets While Pooping, So We Now Have Grave Concerns About the Condition of His Gastrointestinal System

We're just trying to understand.

Skiposti Toilet

Who among us doesn't love a good dump-n-post: a chance to clear your mind and your rectum all in one go.

However much you enjoy it, the richest man in the world has you beat, according to his past interviews and posts.

"At least 50 percent of my tweets were made on a porcelain throne," tweeted the mogul back in November of 2021. "I'm tweeting more or less stream of consciousness," he followed up in an April 2022 interview, adding that "I'm literally on the toilet or something."

That "or something" is absolutely load-bearing, because as it turns out, Musk is now averaging over 67 tweets per day — that's an estimated daily posting time of 2.7 hours — according to recent data analysis. And that's a conservative estimate — there are several days where the best gamer in the world and head of numerous multibillion-dollar enterprises eclipses triple digits, bringing him up to over 5 hours of pure posting.

In light of these revelations, we have to ask Mr. Musk: are your bowels okay bro? Are you dehydrated, and what's your fiber intake like? Should we grab you some Imodium? And do the drugs have anything to do with it?

Super Human

The sheer logistics of the posting — let alone the pooping — are mindboggling. Musk's bragging about his hustle is legendary, with the entrepreneur variously and dubiously boasting about working 24/7, sleeping on the Tesla factory floor, developing a tequila brand, owning no possessions, raising 11 kids, maintaining his top rank on Diablo IV and Path of Exile 2, challenging fellow CEO Mark Zuckerberg to a cage match, and saving thousands of lives in LA — not to mention running the country — while somehow making time for almost three daily hours of poop breaks. Kudos on the time management!

Here's the thing though: Musk isn't actually doing all that crap. In spite of his staggering wealth, the pattern established by his biographers is that he gets obsessed with one company, bothers everyone there relentlessly, then disappears for a while, or moves onto another temporary obsession.

As the analysis above observes, "stats like this should be enough to disabuse the notion that people like Elon — who’s wasting hours every day boosting racist trolls — have fairly 'earned' their unimaginable wealth. Unless, of course, you think it’s possible to spend 2.7 hours a day on social media and still be ~4 million times more productive than the median American."

Musk has been estimated to grow his net worth by a rough average of $54 million every single day, or around $2.3 million every single hour (and that's giving him the benefit of the doubt that he actually does work 24/7). That comes out to millions of dollars just while he's pooping. Every single day.

So the next time your legs fall asleep and you lose track of time in the ol' WC, just remember: that's billionaire shit.

More on Musk: Elon Musk Claims Axe Murderer Targeted His Employees, Cops Say They Have No Idea What He's Talking About