Searches for “bimbofication” began surging Tuesday, from an average index score of zero to 100 in a single day. Why the sudden interest in hyper-feminine transformation?
The answer, improbably, lies in former Department of Homeland Security secretary Kristi Noem’s husband, Bryon Noem. Bombshell reporting by none other than the Daily Mail revealed that Bryon Noem harbors a voracious appetite for the voluptuous things in life.
The tabloid received “hundreds of messages” between Noem and three models enmeshed in the bimbo fetish scene, where women transform themselves into walking sex dolls via makeup, extremely tight clothes, and aggressive saline injections, usually in their lips and breasts.
In the messages, Noem rhapsodized about the women’s bodies, admitting his penchant for “‘huge, huge ridiculous boobs.” The father of three and owner of crop underwriting firm Noem Insurance lavished some $25,000 on these shapely ladies over the course of their relationship, the Mail reported.
Those mere flings aren’t why “bimbofication” is trending, however. At some point, no longer satisfied with merely paying bimbos for company while his wife rounded up innocent migrant workers, Noem developed an interest in becoming a bimbo himself — the particularly salacious dimension to the story that really got the internet buzzing.
Numerous photos shared by the Mail show the 56-year-old underwriter wearing skin-tight crop tops with massive balloons stuffed in his chest, which understandably went viral on social media.
“They confirmed it? Wow, well, I feel badly for the family if that’s the case,” Donald Trump told the Mail in response to questions on the viral news. “That’s too bad.”
Look, there’s nothing wrong with folks exploring their sexual and gender identities however they want, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone else. But the irony of this particular scandal striking the family of an administration that’s been relentless in attacking the transgender community is hard to miss.
So there you have it. Why is “bimbofication” trending online? Because the former secretary of Homeland Security’s husband is obsessed with transforming into a big breasted barbie doll, of course.
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