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12 December 2019
FITTER. BETTER. HAPPIER.
Victor Tangermann
Mental Health

New Mental Health Trend: Ditching the Therapist for a Dominatrix

"I wanted motivation, advice, and accountability from a woman who spanks grown men for a living."
by Kristin Houser / October 07 2019

After six months of therapy, sex and relationships writer Sofia Barrett-Ibarria wasn’t feeling any less depressed. In fact, according to a fascinating new essay she penned for The Guardian, she actually felt worse after each session than she did before it.

So she fired her therapist and hired a dominatrix.

“I didn’t want another therapist; I wanted someone to just tell me what to do, who could kick my ass and tell me to cut the bullshit,” Barrett-Ibarria wrote. “I wanted motivation, advice, and accountability from a woman who spanks grown men for a living.”

Surprisingly, Barrett-Ibarria isn’t the first person to trade in a licensed therapist for a latex-clad life coach — in fact, Los Angeles-based dominatrix Princess Marx told the writer that “many dommes” now offer life-coaching service.

“Men, women, and everyone in between tend to come to me for one of two reasons,” Princess Marx said. “To gain new skills for BDSM play inside and outside the bedroom or dungeon, or to improve confidence in non-kinky aspects of life — to learn how to ‘make life their bitch’ as I like to say.”

According to Barrett-Ibarria, paying LA-based domme Mistress Justine Cross $150 per session to tell her what to do was just what she needed to overcome her depression.

“I was following someone else’s instructions,” she wrote in The Guardian, “but I felt a greater sense of control and ownership over my life, like I wasn’t drowning any more… Unlike my previous therapists, my dominatrix life coach isn’t afraid to hurt my feelings — she’s brutally honest and has no time for my excuses.”

However, as Princess Marx noted, this unusual approach to dealing with mental health issues won’t work for everyone — and sometimes it’s up to the dominatrix to let a client know they should look for answers elsewhere.

“Any coach worth their salt will know when a client’s concerns are beyond the scope of coaching, and would be better served by referring them to a therapist,” she told Barrett-Ibarria. “This is crucial, in my opinion.”

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