Look: We here at Futurism Dot Com are not immune — like every other media outlet on the internet — to the occasional shameless Internet Dog post.
Among our ranks are dog owners; our office is dog-friendly. Also, we're shameless. So here's a video of NASA astronaut Christina Koch coming home to her dog after returning from her record-setting 328-day spaceflight:
Not sure who was more excited. Glad she remembers me after a year! pic.twitter.com/sScVXHMHJn
— Christina H Koch (@Astro_Christina) February 13, 2020
The dog's name, for the record, is LBD, which stands for Little Brown Dog. And look at our fawning contemporaries in media, covering this particular story:
Ah, yes, CNN: That regal news operation, just bowled over by this dog. Time magazine, that old stalwart, argues that this dog could not be happier.
We beg to differ.
Allow us to introduce you, dear reader, to the Master Returns subreddit, which is full of videos of dogs who are far happier to see their owners — who weren't even in space! — than Christina Koch's dog, which could do better:
See? This dog certainly did better:
WELCOME HOME A soldier's worry her beloved dog wouldn't remember her while she was deployed in Africa quickly dissolved by the pup's public freakout at the airport from MasterReturns
This dog absolutely owns lesser dogs with a greeting involving pirouettes:
See? That's all. We just expect more of that dog.
Related: Welcome back, Christina Koch. Not that you needed a reminder, but Earth is full of assholes, and only dogs are good. Also, LBD, do better.
MORE #FUTURISM_PETS CONTENT: These Cats Refuse to Die of Coronavirus Before Their Humans
EVEN MORE #FUTURISM_PETS CONTENT: If You Don't Adopt These Animals the FDA Experimented on You're a Bad Person