"I'm just trying not to fall off this rover."
A new reality TV show is challenging an unlikely group of celebrities to survive in a simulated Mars habitat — and by the looks of it, it's playing out in an absolutely unhinged way.
The sixth episode of Fox's "Stars on Mars," which aired earlier this week, saw reality TV personality and former "The Bachelor" contestant Ashley Iaconetti team up with cycling champion Lance Armstrong — we promise this bizarre pairing is just the beginning of the weirdness — to plug holes in the habitat by, well, holding their hands against the hole for extended periods of time. Look, nobody expected this show to be scientifically accurate, OK?
"Unfortunately got stuck standing in front of two holes that were not anywhere near each other," Armstrong lamented in a promotional clip shared by Fox last week. "How did I get this one? This sucks."
"I'm just trying not to fall off this rover," NBA all-star Paul Pier said as he was plugging two separate holes with his gloved hands.
The show, which is being hosted by none other than "Star Trek" legend and depressed space tourist William Shatner, is a mystifying cultural artifact.
Its bizarre mashup of B-and-C-list celebrities, including UFC champion Ronda Rousey, "Real Housewives of Atlanta" reality star Porsha Williams Guobadia, comedian Natasha Leggero, and Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon compete every week as they try to secure a future place in the simulated habitat.
As you'd expect, there's plenty of drama, with "Modern Family" star Ariel Winter butting heads with Lance Armstrong over his anti-trans comments about trans athletes.
Several celebrities took sides with Winter, bringing Armstrong close to the point of volunteering to leave the show.
In short, it's exactly the kind of drama you'd expect from a reality TV show that pits a group of celebrities against each other in a closed-off environment.
And we're just watching with glee as the chaos ensues.
More on the show: New Show Traps Lance Armstrong and Ariel Winter in Simulated Mars Base
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