Okay, these lyrics are something else.
We regret to inform you that the crypto bros are at it again — except this time, the "bro" in question is Mark Zuckerberg's sister Randi.
In what can regrettably only be called a "music video" posted to Twitter, the lady Zuckerberg offers her Jenna Maroney-esque take on Adele's 2015 hit "Hello" by turning it into a sort of explainer for cryptocurrency — and particularly the world of decentralized finance, known as DeFi to enthusiasts.
"Hello, it’s me, would you like to learn exchanging cryptocurrency?" the song's lyrics, which Vice blessedly transcribed, read. "We’ll go over everything, cause you’ve got coins from different blockchains and want to do some trading."
🎶🎶 Hello - it’s me 🎶🎶
Music video! b/c community should be FUN, crypto should be welcoming not intimidating & why not?!?! @thehugxyz we believe in working hard AND enjoying this crazy amazing moment we’re in. Best way to support creators is to be creators! Apologies Adele 🤣 pic.twitter.com/GHKRCK8J7z
— randizuckerberg.eth (@randizuckerberg) February 17, 2022
This cringey ode to the world of DeFi features a shoutout to the artist's web3 accelerator, HUG, which is described on its website as "a decentralized community platform" that helps digital creators work "hand-in-hand with creative entrepreneurs to build the next billion-dollar business."
In the video, edited to have the same sepia tone as the Adele smash it's emulating, Zuckerberg appears to have a phone exchange with a silent, buttoned-up Wall Street type who looks despondent as she gets deeper into the Weird Al-esque ballad.
After name-dropping "some decentralized apps" (Uniswap and Compound, to name two), Zuckerberg ends her little ditty by declaring — again, to the tune of Adele's "Hello" — that she doesn't "need bankers shoving web2 in my face anymore," which is apparently an issue the tech scion's sister has experienced.
While this video may make some readers want to crawl out of their skin, others — including whoever runs the social media for Reese Witherspoon's media company Hello Sunshine — found it charming and even "epic."
Zuckerberg — who along with being a crypto fanatic is also an author, a mom, and the Tony-winning Broadway producer of "Hadestown" and the "Oklahoma" revival — has lots of explainer videos on both her YouTube and Twitter pages, but it doesn't seem like she's posted a music video since 2007, when she parodied the Pussycat Dolls to sing about iPhones.
This web3 wildcard may not be as well known as her brother, but this latest video shows that, if nothing else, Broadway has yet another cringe lyricist for us to keep an eye out for.
READ MORE: Randi Zuckerberg Stars in Very Cool Crypto-Themed Adele Tribute [Motherboard]
More on the Zuckerberg clan: Mark Zuckerberg Tells Employees They're Called "Metamates" Now