The Only Thing Sadder Than This Cybertruck's Gaping Wound Is Its Bumper Sticker

Honk if you love tragedy.

Crash Course

A Cybertruck owner waited two miserable weeks for a Tesla collision shop to patch up his car's torn bumper, and the sticker he plastered on the vehicle makes his bad situation worse.

"I bought this after I knew Elon was awesome," reads the bumper sticker, which the truck owner shared as part of an explanatory post on X-formerly-Twitter.

It's meant to be a defiant response to the much more popular stickers sheepishly disclaiming that a Tesla's owner bought the vehicle "before we knew Elon was crazy" — but after the accident, it feels more like a sad trombone.

Boulevard of Broken Teslas

While waiting for repair parts, the collision shop had stripped part of the Cybertruck's steel body to reveal the white exoskeleton beneath.

"I want Tesla to be the best," pleaded the Cybertruck owner, whose X name identifies them only as "Tryangle." But the "truck was perfectly drivable, and it's just been sitting in the lot for 10-plus days torn down."

"No one can give me a clear idea of when parts will be available, or when things will be completed," Tryangle continued. "I feel like my truck is being held hostage." 

One man's woe here speaks to a larger issue with Musk's most passionate followers: they'll endure anything to feel close to the billionaire. They don't mind that the $74,000-and-up Cybertruck clearly isn't as invincible as advertised, or that it's a nightmare to service, and that it sometimes bursts into flames.

As for Tryangle, his Cybertruck is now fixed and back in his possession — and he couldn't be more thrilled.

"I ordered my @cybertruck five years ago," he recently wrote on X-formerly-Twitter. "Never has anything in my life been worth the wait like the Cybertruck has! (Sorry to my wife, baby boy, and future children.)"

More on the Cybertruck: Warning! Do Not Expose Cybertrucks to Common Magnets