"Did he burglarize the Wii bowling alley?"

Thief™

There's a potential burglar on the loose. We suspect, though, that he doesn't quite look how the cops imagine him to be.

On the hunt for a man who may have broken into a 90-year-old homeowner's house in Tunbridge Wells, England, the Kent Police did the usual thing cops do with unidentified suspects: release a composite photo — traditionally a sketch — of what they look like based on a witness description.

Except in this case, the local fuzz opted for a "computer generated" image, which they shared on X-formerly-Twitter. And the results, we have to say, are absolutely comical. Whether it turns up any leads remains to be seen, but for now everyone's having a good laugh at just how much it looks like a low-poly video game character.

"Did he burglarize the Wii bowling alley?" joked one user in a post on X.

"He's hiding in the Facility level in GoldenEye," quipped another.

For Pete's Sake

According to a police statement, the witness says that she heard the intruder upstairs after returning to her house at around 5 pm. When she confronted him, he claimed to be a police officer before leaving empty-handed.

The suspect is described as being a white man around five feet, five inches tall of an average build with short dark hair and a missing front tooth. Based on the police image, he may possibly even be a living, breathing PS1 character in the pixelated flesh, walking among us.

Or, as some have pointed out, it could even be the very much not a video game character Pete Buttigieg, the US Secretary of Transportation, after a long weekend bender. The resemblance is uncanny.

And hey, let's have a laugh at this stuff while we can. Police composites, hand-drawn or computer generated, can always look wonky. But cops are now exploring how to up their game by using AI to generate sketches of suspects, which opens an entire Pandora's Box on how the tech could exacerbate biases and lead to racial profiling.

Even more invasively, some police forces are using DNA phenotyping to generate suspect photos, which some geneticists have criticized as pseudoscientific.

Did we ruin the fun? Our bad.

More on the police: Cops Using AI That Automatically Generates Police Reports From Body Cam Footage


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