You Have Got To See This Unhinged SBF Memo

All work and no play apparently makes Sam a dull boy.

Here's Sammy

A document penned by fallen crypto angel Sam Bankman-Fried, which his lawyers didn't want prosecutors to use, has come to light — and reader, it is absolutely buckwild.

"I find it really fascinating to stroll through uncanny vallies [sic]," Bankman-Fried wrote in the document obtained by Molly White, the force behind the hilarious "Web3 Is Going Just Great" blog. "Most people do not. Most people fucking hate it."

The document ended up being presented as evidence in the federal government's massive fraud case against the former FTX head over his alleged financial crimes that went to trial last week — the first of two separate proceedings, with the second slated to begin next March.

The whole thing is worth a read — unless you particularly value your sanity — but this "approximate list of what matters" makes for a great overview of just how unhinged the document is.

If the above list bears to you a striking resemblance to the repetitive "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" manuscript from Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece adaption of Stephen King's "The Shining," you're far from alone.

"I think he's been working too hard," one user of the platform formerly known as Twitter wrote, alongside a screenshot from the iconic 1980 film.

Tense Context

The memo, White explained, was created by SBF as an attempt to smooth out tensions between Alameda Research, FTX's sister firm and alleged slush fund which his then-on-off girlfriend Caroline Ellison ran as CEO, and Modulo Capital, which was run by another of his exes, Xiaoyun "Lily" Zhang.

"Can't imagine why things were strained," the researcher quipped.

As if the document's contents itself weren't outrageous enough, the context surrounding the memo itself is enough to make any court-watcher's head spin.

Before acquiring this bizarre three-page epistle, White, who has been covering the trial in her newsletter, heard tell of a strange exchange between Bankman-Fried's lawyers and the prosecutors in his case. Mark Cohen, the ex-CEO's attorney, attempted — unsuccessfully, in the end — to prevent the state from showing the document to the court.

"What conceivable relevance is it that he wrote these items," Cohen argued, per a journalist White knew who'd attended the trial IRL, "only to show that he’s some sort of crazy person?"

That question, like many of the others raised by the government's case against SBF, is unfortunately in the eye of the beholder — but we've gotta say, with everything else we've learned about the onetime crypto king over the last few months, it's not looking good.

More on SBF: Caroline Ellison Testifies That SBF's Strange Philosophy Justified Lying and Stealing