Check Out This Giant AI-Powered "Spice Dispenser" for Dorks Too Timid to Properly Season Their Food

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Out of Season

Back in 2017, a buzzy multi-million dollar startup called Juicero — which sold a high tech, WiFi-enabled fruit and veggie juicer that had taken health circles by storm — imploded spectacularly when Bloomberg discovered that you could squeeze its juice packs by hand, without its $700 over-engineered machine, a demise that CNET derided as history's "greatest example of Silicon Valley stupidity."

We may now have a new pretender to the throne. Enter the Spicerr, a supposedly "AI-powered" "smart" spice dispenser that will automatically decide how much seasoning you should add to your barren foodstuffs. 

"Spicerr takes the guesswork out of seasoning," reads its marketing copy, with "curated spice blends" and "precise measurements," making it the perfect kitchen gizmo for dorks who are too unadventurous to even dabble in the art of adding a pinch of salt or ancho chile.

The company also has an extremely obnoxious ad featuring anthropomorphized kitchenware, which are for some reason aware what an AI model is. Suspension of disbelief shattered.

Lock and Preload

The Spicerr is designed like a minimalist, tech-inflected pepper grinder with a revolver's cylinder stuck on the bottom. It holds six pre-packaged spice capsules at a time, which you have to buy from the manufacturer, like so many hated inkjet printers. Spicerr sells an "Essential Collection" that comes with black pepper, turmeric, crushed pepper, ginger, cinnamon, and cumin, as well as three other collections for "family cooking," "baking with kids," and plain ol' "BBQ."

Using a small touch screen at the top — did we mention this thing uses a touch screen? — you choose the blend or recipe you want, which will require you to navigate more than a few tiny menus if this demonstration is anything to go by, load the necessary capsules, press down on the button, and let the Spicerr go to town. 

And voilà: you have now have a seasoned meal, human. Is the 3:1 ratio of salt to pepper with an uncertainty of 4 percent to your liking?

Data Driven

We know we said this thing has the "AI" label slapped on it, but it's unclear what exactly the "AI-powered platform" actually is, other than something that collects your data, apparently, via its accompanying app.

"By analyzing your preferences and interactions, Spicerr quickly learns your tastes and suggests dishes and spice blends perfectly suited to your palate," the website reads.

We'd posit it's not just variety, but also spontaneity, that's the spice of life. So for the love of all that is holy, don't let an algorithm decide how much cinnamon or paprika you're adding to your food. Take the risk and toss some of that stuff in there yourself — and then taste it, engage your brain, and decide whether it needs another pinch.

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