Mark Zuckerberg Bought His Neighbors the Most Insulting Gift Imaginable

Tech magnate Mark Zuckerberg, one of the most wealthy human beings in history, isn't exactly known for being down to earth.

The billionaire's made headlines with numerous ostentatious public displays around whichever neighborhood he's calling home at the time — he owns an astonishing number of houses — like his gaudy seven-foot turquoise statue of his wife Priscilla Chan, or the off-the-books private school he ran from his Palo Alto compound.

With so many bizarre side projects going on around his many domiciles, the New York Times reported this month, it's no surprise he's started to wear out his welcome with neighbors.

Specifically, the NYT reports, Zuckerberg has been engaged in a dwarven-style excavation project under his 11-parcel real estate complex in Palo Alto, digging 7,000 square feet of labyrinthian bunkers. The caverns have taken eight years of heavy construction, bringing "massive equipment and a lot of noise" to the neighborhood.

Anyone else would probably bake their neighbors some muffins, or invite them over to a cookout to soothe tensions. But according to the NYT, the world's third-richest man has instead chosen to lavish nearby homeowners with luxury gifts like chocolates, sparkling wine — and even the most mocking present imaginable in the face of his constant commotion: noise-canceling headphones.

It's not just the underground bunker, either. The gifts come after nearly 14 years of disruptions from Zuckerberg's supervillain-esque home makeovers, which reportedly include dystopian privacy barriers, a surveillance panopticon, and a platoon of private security personnel.

Residents of the suburb complain about frequent patrols from security guards, delivery vehicles constantly blocking the street, and a predatory home-buying spree that's grown more and more rapacious over time.

"No neighborhood wants to be occupied," Michael Kieschnick told the NYT. A Palo Alto resident of over 30 years, his home is now enclosed by Zuckerberg's compound on three sides. "But that’s exactly what they’ve done. They’ve occupied our neighborhood."

All of this happens, it seems, with the tacit approval of city officials.

For example, the newspaper highlights a particularly troubling moment when Palo Alto police created a tow-away zone on the public road adjacent to Zuckerberg's sprawling suburban development, effective for five hours on a weekday evening. As it turns out, that was the exact time Zuckerberg happened to be hosting a private cookout, which the police department had been assigned to protect.

"Billionaires everywhere are used to just making their own rules — Zuckerberg and Chan are not unique, except that they're our neighbors," Kieschnick seethed. "But it’s a mystery why the city has been so feckless."

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