--- title: "Sam Bankman-Fried Apparently Told Caroline Ellison That “In a Lot of Ways I Don’t Really Have a Soul”" description: "A new biography of Sam Bankman-Fried strongly suggests that the disgraced FTX founder, now on trial for fraud, was a bad boyfriend." date: "2023-10-04" modified: "2023-10-04" authors: - name: "Noor Al-Sibai" job_title: "Senior Staff Writer" link: "https://futurism.com/authors/nooralsibai" url: "https://futurism.com/the-byte/sbf-ftx-soul-book" categories: - "Blockchain" - "Future Society" tags: - "caroline ellison" - "ftx" - "sbf" - "the digest" --- # Sam Bankman-Fried Apparently Told Caroline Ellison That “In a Lot of Ways I Don’t Really Have a Soul” ![A new biography of Sam Bankman-Fried strongly suggests that the disgraced FTX founder, now on trial for fraud, was a bad boyfriend.]() *\Image: Michael M. Santiago via Getty / Futurism\* ## Boyfriend Material Dating FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried was apparently hellacious, as revelations from a new biography released as his [fraud trial begins]() seem to illustrate. Penned by "The Big Short" author Michael Lewis, the newly-released SBF biography, "[Going Infinite]()," includes intimate details about the disgraced crypto prince's life — including that he once sent a list of "pros" and "cons" to dating him to his [on-off girlfriend and colleague Caroline Ellison](), who headed up FTX's sister firm Alameda Research. "In a lot of ways I don't really have a soul," Bankman-Fried told Ellison in the note, sent in 2018. "There's a pretty decent argument that my empathy is fake, my feelings are fake, my facial reactions are fake. I don't feel happiness. What's the point in dating someone who you physically can't make happy?" ## Back and Forth The list of cons didn't end there, either. SBF told his sometimes-girlfriend — in response to her own note about how the [feelings she was developing]() while they casually slept together were consuming her thoughts — that he not only felt uncomfortable about the power dynamics between them, but that he'd rather spend 60 hours in the office each week than spend time with her. The pros? That he "really liked f\*cking" her — this Bankman-Fried wrote down twice. Although Ellison had written that she didn't like that her boss and apparent booty call was sending "confusing signals, e.g. telling me that he felt conflicted about having sex with me, then having sex with me, then ignoring me for a few months," she pursued a relationship with him anyway. While this is far from the first glimpse we've seen into the relationship between Bankman-Friend and Ellison given that he, you know, [leaked her diary entries to the *New York Times*](), it does provide more insight into how the accused fraudster thinks of himself as his fascinating and long-awaited trial finally begins in earnest. **More on SBF:** [*Sam Bankman-Fried's Dog Apparently Is Trained to Kill, But He Doesn't Know the Command*]() ## Author At Futurism, I've often been drawn to unpacking the narratives that underlie technological, scientific and medical progress, with a special interest in areas of conflict and ambiguity that end up setting agendas and steering the fates of both elites and the hoi polloi. I'm a committed generalist, but I often find myself returning to work involving NASA and the private space sector, the effects of AI on media and society, and the mechanics of the pharmaceutical industry, with a specific focus on the spread of GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy. Prior to Futurism, I worked for publications ranging from Media Matters and Truthdig to Raw Story and Bustle. I'm also the author of "Myspace Scene Queens," a 2024 title in Instar Books' acclaimed "Remember the Internet" series. My work at Futurism has been cited by outlets including the New Yorker, Slate, Nieman Lab, the Verge, the MIT Technology Review, the Sunday Times, and the Daily Beast. I grew up in North Carolina, attended the University of North Carolina at Asheville, and now live in Brooklyn, New York. In my free time, I'm an avid reader and music fan; you can probably find me at a local poetry reading, concert, underground rave, or DJ set. I'm the proud parent of an ineffable orange cat named Mee-Mow. ### Author social links [Bluesky]()