--- title: "Researcher Studying Married Men With AI Girlfriends" description: "A sociologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology is studying the artificial intimacy afforded to humans by AI girlfriends." date: "2024-07-04" modified: "2024-07-04" authors: - name: "Noor Al-Sibai" job_title: "Senior Staff Writer" link: "https://futurism.com/authors/nooralsibai" url: "https://futurism.com/researcher-married-men-ai-girlfriends" categories: - "Artificial Intelligence" tags: - "ai girlfriends" - "artificial intelligence" - "Psychology" - "relationships" --- # Researcher Studying Married Men With AI Girlfriends ![A sociologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology is studying the artificial intimacy afforded to humans by AI girlfriends.]() *\Image: Getty / Futurism\* A sociologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology is studying the artificial intimacy afforded to humans by AI chatbots — including for people who have IRL marriages. In an [interview with *NPR*](), MIT researcher Sherry Turkle said that she's interested in "machines that say, 'I care about you, I love you, take care of me.'" Certain humans have long [developed intimate connections with inanimate objects](), with Turkle examining similar phenomena since the 1990s with interactive toys like Tamagotchis and Furbies. But recent advances have put [intimate relationships with AI]() into overdrive. To Turkle's mind, the feelings people have for their AI companions present a curious psychosocial conundrum. "What AI can offer is a space away from the friction of companionship and friendship," the [researcher and author]() told *NPR*. "It offers the illusion of intimacy without the demands. And that is the particular challenge of this technology." Take, for example, a married man at the center of one of Turkle's case studies. Though the unnamed man said he respects his wife, her focus has shifted away from him and onto taking care of their children, which to him made it feel like their relationship had lost its romantic and sexual spark. After he began chatting with an AI companion about his thoughts and anxieties, the man reported feeling validated — especially in the way it seemed to express sexual interest in him. He felt affirmed and unjudged in those exchanges with the chatbot, suggesting that he didn't feel that way with his wife. It's unclear whether or how much the man's wife or children knows about his AI "girlfriend," but it's clear from was shared that he has expressed some level of vulnerability with the chatbot — a vulnerability that occurs, Turkle suggests, under false pretenses. "The trouble with this is that when we seek out relationships of no vulnerability, we forget that vulnerability is really where empathy is born,"she said. "I call this pretend empathy, because the machine does not empathize with you. It does not care about you." Rather than judging people for turning to technology for their human needs, Turkle instead offers a few words of caution for those who go the AI companion route: to remind themselves that the chatbots are not people, and that even though they may produce less stress than human relationships, they also can't truly fulfill the roles humans can in our lives. "The avatar is betwixt the person and a fantasy," the researcher mused. "Don't get so attached that you can't say, 'You know what? This is a program.' There is nobody home." **More on AI relationships:** [*Tech Exec Predicts Billion-Dollar AI Girlfriend Industry*]() ## Author At Futurism, I've often been drawn to unpacking the narratives that underlie technological, scientific and medical progress, with a special interest in areas of conflict and ambiguity that end up setting agendas and steering the fates of both elites and the hoi polloi. I'm a committed generalist, but I often find myself returning to work involving NASA and the private space sector, the effects of AI on media and society, and the mechanics of the pharmaceutical industry, with a specific focus on the spread of GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy. Prior to Futurism, I worked for publications ranging from Media Matters and Truthdig to Raw Story and Bustle. I'm also the author of "Myspace Scene Queens," a 2024 title in Instar Books' acclaimed "Remember the Internet" series. My work at Futurism has been cited by outlets including the New Yorker, Slate, Nieman Lab, the Verge, the MIT Technology Review, the Sunday Times, and the Daily Beast. I grew up in North Carolina, attended the University of North Carolina at Asheville, and now live in Brooklyn, New York. In my free time, I'm an avid reader and music fan; you can probably find me at a local poetry reading, concert, underground rave, or DJ set. I'm the proud parent of an ineffable orange cat named Mee-Mow. ### Author social links [Bluesky]()