--- title: "That Millionaire With the Bizarre Health Regimen Is Doing Something Strange to His Genitals" description: "We regret to inform you that biohacking tech millionaire Bryan Johnson is back at it again, with a new body part." date: "2023-09-03" modified: "2023-09-03" authors: - name: "Noor Al-Sibai" job_title: "Senior Staff Writer" link: "https://futurism.com/authors/nooralsibai" url: "https://futurism.com/neoscope/bryan-johnson-biohacking-update" categories: - "Health & Medicine" tags: - "biohacking" - "bryan johnson" - "erectile dysfunction" - "penis" --- # That Millionaire With the Bizarre Health Regimen Is Doing Something Strange to His Genitals ![We regret to inform you that biohacking tech millionaire Bryan Johnson is back at it again, with a new body part.]() *\Image: Bryan Johnson via YouTube\* We regret to inform you that biohacking tech millionaire Bryan Johnson — you know, the one who's obsessed with [rewinding his biological age to 18]() — is back at it again. And this time, regrettably, his penis is the main attraction. Readers of *The Onion* might recall that earlier this month, the satirical publication [took aim at Johnson](), cooking up a fictional story in which he bragged that his "penis was finally as small as a baby's" after experimental medical treatments. Now, it sounds as though life is imitating parody. After finding that he received "[no benefit]()" from getting [blood transfusions from his teen son](), Johnson — who, we should mention, was an early investor in *Futurism*, though he no longer has any involvement — is now [subjecting his own johnson]() to a bizarre but apparently real therapy in which, as [*Rolling Stone* reports](), practitioners shock their junk with sonic waves. Known as "shockwave therapy," the practice — when not used on one's genitals — is touted by institutions ranging from [Boston Children's Hospital]() to the [Cleveland Clinic]() as a regenerative therapy, most often used to treat various musculoskeletal conditions like plantar fasciitis or tennis elbow. While the way the technology works is pretty complex, it essentially involves sending low-energy shockwaves through a device that focuses on a specific problem area, "stimulating increased blood flow and growth hormones to the area \[and\] promoting new tissue growth," the Boston Children's Hospital noted in its safe-for-work splash page on the therapy. "This process is very similar to weightlifting," Stephanie Wolff, the CEO of the Los Angeles' Novus Anti-Aging Center, told *Rolling Stone*. "As you create micro-tears in the muscle, the body’s response is to repair and regenerate the muscle tissue into a sturdier, healthier tissue with an increase in blood flow." If you're wondering whether this departure from using his son as a blood boy may be dangerous for Johnson, you're not alone. As the [University of Utah's urology department]() notes, most people who shock their dicks therapeutically are usually fine, and those who do have negative side effects often find them "rare and generally mild." That said, there are some pretty gruesome side effects that *can* occur, including but not limited to painful erections, bruising, blood in urine, and/or "penile curvature that worsens," whatever that means. Though there's no doubt that folks like Johnson have no problem dropping trou and having their dicks assailed in a doctor's office, Wolff told *Rolling Stone* that her clinic sells their own bespoke wand device so patients can administer the treatment at home. Known as "[The Phoenix]()," one could easily mistake Novus' shockwave machine for a run-of-the-mill sex toy, though people who are into being shocked sexually often use [cattle prod-esque contraptions]() to get that particular effect. Wolff told the magazine that her clinic sees all types and ages of men, from "A-list celebrities to truck drivers" and sometimes "even porn stars who are looking to be at their best." If you're trying to shock your junk back to peak performance, however, you may be out of luck: the experimental and [non-FDA-approved therapy]() is not covered by insurance and can cost thousands of dollars out of pocket. The lingering question, of course, is whether this aspect of Johnson's "[Blueprint]()" age-reversing protocol is going to work — and given that he's teased that he [may post photos of his penile progress](), we'll let you check that one out yourselves. **More on penis procedures:** [*Terrible Things Are Happening to Men Who Got Penis Enlargement*]() ## Author At Futurism, I've often been drawn to unpacking the narratives that underlie technological, scientific and medical progress, with a special interest in areas of conflict and ambiguity that end up setting agendas and steering the fates of both elites and the hoi polloi. I'm a committed generalist, but I often find myself returning to work involving NASA and the private space sector, the effects of AI on media and society, and the mechanics of the pharmaceutical industry, with a specific focus on the spread of GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy. Prior to Futurism, I worked for publications ranging from Media Matters and Truthdig to Raw Story and Bustle. I'm also the author of "Myspace Scene Queens," a 2024 title in Instar Books' acclaimed "Remember the Internet" series. My work at Futurism has been cited by outlets including the New Yorker, Slate, Nieman Lab, the Verge, the MIT Technology Review, the Sunday Times, and the Daily Beast. I grew up in North Carolina, attended the University of North Carolina at Asheville, and now live in Brooklyn, New York. In my free time, I'm an avid reader and music fan; you can probably find me at a local poetry reading, concert, underground rave, or DJ set. I'm the proud parent of an ineffable orange cat named Mee-Mow. ### Author social links [Bluesky]()